In a conversation with a sweet friend the other day it occurred to me that not everyone lives out their marriage like Dean and I do. Not that we have it perfectly figured out, or are ourselves perfect. Because we are not. We are two very imperfect people who share a life together. Obviously there have been some bumps in the road. Thankfully God grants us immense grace and continually helps and teaches us.
I do want to share one huge thing that keeps Dean and I both thriving in our marriage: Dean is my best friend and I am his.
Dean is the very first person that I want to share good or exciting things with. I can’t wait to talk to him everyday. He is also the first person I want to run to when I’m sad or frustrated or am having difficult day. We talk about everything and nothing all the time. He knows my heart and I know his. We listen to each other even if we don’t “get” what the other one is talking about. I listen to sports talk I don’t understand and wouldn’t otherwise give a hoot about, because I love the one telling me about it. And he listens to all sorts of decorating, blogging and social media stuff he could probably live the rest of his life without because he loves me.
So to my dear sweet married girlfriends, love your husband so much that you really listen when he talks. Celebrate his achievements. Let him know that you won’t belittle him when he shares his fears with you. Be a safe place for him. And when you need to talk to someone, think of your husband first. God gave him to you to “do” life with.
And for the Husbands when your wives begin talking to you about their inmost feelings, be careful. You don’t need to fix her when something is wrong. You don’t need to have experienced it – whatever IT is – yourself. You just need to listen. And hold her. And be a safe place. When your wife comes to you with her hurts and fears and joys, be thankful. For when she chooses to share with you, that means she is not running to someone else. And you will both be blessed.
Happy Valentine’s Day, friends.
(P.S. If all goes well we should have some house/decorating stuff to share with you next week. I know it’s been awhile!)